When you know you’re screwed

Life is so complex and there are too many ways to be screwed. We came up with only four “you’re screwed” drawings for this post. We may come up with more “you’re screwed” satire in the future.

Caution: Please note that this post is a “you’re screwed” satire. Therefore, the phrase “you’re screwed” will repeat many times.

“We need to talk” implies “you’re screwed”

The moment you hear your girlfriend saying, “Honey, we need to talk”, you know that you’re screwed. If you are a super nice guy, the next few sentences are going to be — “You have a beautiful mind. I have enjoyed dating you. But…” You know the rest. Sorry dude … Please do not take it personally. It is a standard procedure but nevertheless you’re badly screwed.

screwed by breakup

Not a good idea to breakup over text

You have been called for an interview from a company of your dream job. You are excited. After entering the interview room you discover that your ex-girlfriend with whom you broke up over a text message five years ago is in the interview board. You’re screwed tightly.
You're screwed in an interview.

Babysitter disaster

You and your spouse haven’t eaten dinner together (peacefully) for a long time. How will you? You have baby. You managed a table reservation in a great restaurant for a Friday evening. It is great that you managed a babysitter as well and your kid is fond of her. Well … All’s well that ends well.

In the Friday evening you find that the boyfriend of your babysitter is planning to join her in babysitting. The problem is, you are not that fond of the boyfriend of your babysitter. You are screwed.

Babysitter disaster

Etiquette disaster

You teach your child the etiquettes and manners everyone should maintain in a delicate society. However, you yourself cannot maintain all of those etiquettes at home, one of which includes farting in front of the family.

You have invited your son’s friend and the friend’s mom. The first thing your child tells when they arrive is that you farted once in the living room instead of in a bathroom. Sorry to say this — You’re screwed.
You're screwed when your child says you farted.

Hope you enjoyed. Let us know if you have any funny idea or know of a story of how one can be screwed. 🙂

Settle in El Paso team
Note: We drew all the pictures of this post using CrazyTalk Animator 3 Standard (Mac). The software has a Standard PC (Windows) version, as well as PRO Mac and PRO Windows versions.



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Comments

76 thoughts on “When you know you’re screwed

  1. I can relate to this post. And each and every word of this post is correct to the letter. I had several practical experiences of getting screwed. The one that still haunt my memory most is way back in college. I was in this class İM group that membership is restricted to the students of the class. So after a tiring class, I opened the IM app vent my anger about the lecturer, I even called him name. To my shock the lecturer got to see all my post. The following day that he called me to see him on his office, I immediately knew something is not right. My mind as telling I am screwed already even before entering his office.
    1. Haha … I am laughing but I realize your agony of that time. I hope the end-story was good. Thank you for sharing such a story from your college days. Have a wonderful day.
  2. Eeeek and it’s like you can’t stop the moment – like it’s happening in slow motion! “Can we talk?” isn’t usually followed by “I’d like to share my lottery winnings with you” 😉 Great illustrations to go with your well-planned post!
  3. Those were great screws. I am sure it is enough for me to say that husbands are fully capable of providing those screws embarrassing the wife in front of guests. It was Christmas time. What I had prepared was a disaster. And if that is not a screw what is when he asks me to bring it out for guests to taste!!!
    1. Or, it could be out of love. Hubby might like your cooking regardless of how it is. He is probably never embarrassed because that Christmas food is always heavenly to his taste buds. 🙂 Have a wonderful day.
  4. Is there any scarier sentence in the whole world than “We need to talk?” I’ve only said it to my husband once- I texted him when I was at work and absolutely furious with him. He survived, needless to say, but I wanted to scare him good, haha! Whenever anyone says it to me, my mind starts racing to everything I’ve ever done that someone could possibly be mad at me for, even if it was years ago! 😅
    1. “We need to talk” is scary, no doubt. It is sometimes as scary as “I have some news”, which implies “I have a bad news. Be strong.”

      Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful day.

    2. Those are a one of the few sentences that I would hate being told by anyone. My younger siblings tend to get really afraid when I tell them that even if I don’t intend of saying anything negative to them, and I tend to lose my wits when my mom or dad utter those words because it makes me think that they have caught me doing something I shouldn’t be doing.
  5. I haven’t had many dating experiences myself but I am kind of worried for this kind of thing occurring when I do get brave enough to go out into the dating world. However, I think if someone acts like themself then if the other partner doesn’t love that person for who they are then the relationship wouldn’t work out anyway and it’s better if they just separate their ways.
    1. Glad to know that you liked it. The one with the interview is our favorite too. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful evening.
  6. Hahaha 🙂 ‘Can we talk’ is a scary sentence to hear for both male and female. I think its actually worse for the female to hear such words, because men generally don’t like to have serious talks. The first thing that usually comes to your mind when a male partner tells you he needs to talk to you is, he is having an affair, or he has blown the family savings on a bad investment or he wants a divorce. Maybe those scary words should be changed.
  7. When you sneak out of work a little early and suddenly pull up next to your boss in her car at a traffic light, you’re screwed. Obviously recently happened to me, but we both pretended not to see each other. 🙂
    Juliann recently posted…Dexter AvenueMy Profile
    1. Haha … Yes, that is a great scene of being screwed. 🙂 Thank you for sharing. Have a wonderful weekend.
  8. I LOVE these pictures! Did someone draw them or create them with a program? Too cute! You bring up so many hilarious points that many of us can relate to.
    1. I am glad to know that you loved the pictures and the humor. I drew these pictures mostly using CrazyTalk Animator. I created a character of a little boy using powerpoint, which is reusable. Rest of the characters were already in CrazyTalk Animator.

      Sometimes I draw pictures on paper and then digitize them as I did in the “Text and Drive” post — http://settleinelpaso.com/how-to-text-and-drive/ .

      Thank you so much for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful Sunday.

  9. Haha, so many screws we could start a business of selling them 😀 anyway, great post.. thank you so much for making me laugh. Just got home from a hard day of work and this is absolutely perfect. My husband thinks I lost my ”screws” because I am giggling so much. I can relate to the first situation pretty well… I think that we all had some experience with it before.

    One personal experience where I knew that I am 100% screwed is this; at around 17 years old I dated this boy, I even met his family but he was more into me than I was into him. I broke up with him pretty fast and he kept texting and calling me for months. I blocked his number and never replied. Then a year forward, I began University and guess who was a teacher for one of my subjects? HIS FATHER! I just knew that I was screwed, haha.

    1. Haha … yes, life is full of so many screws that we could start a business. “lost my screw” is another form of screw that I did not remember when I wrote this post. Thank you for reminding.

      I do not want to laugh at your situation when you started your university studies. It is not polite to laugh at someone’s misery. It is hilarious though. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your experience. Have a wonderful evening.

  10. That one of the ex-girlfriend… I mean, can you ever be any more screwed than that? LOL Breaking up over a tex message or even over a call is never a good idea. Karma always catches you!
  11. I can relate to so many of these! I guess I have been screwed way too many times! I wasn’t dumped over a text message but I was once dumped over email. The guy actually typed a long rambling email about all the things wrong with our relationship. And of course since it was there in print, I read the thing about a hundred times! Yep I was screwed with that one!
    1. Nope, you were not screwed; you were relieved (I bet). That guy was definitely something (please feel free to replace “something” with whatever you want). I appreciate your visit and comment. Have a wonderful week.
  12. You know you’re screwed when you call your office to tell the secretary in your most sickly voice that you’re ill (even if you’re not) and tell them that you can’t go to work, let alone get up from your bed. In truth, you’re just not in the mood to work for today. They accept your alibi and you think that you’re the smartest person on earth for fooling them. During the same day, while enjoying your lunch at a local restaurant, you notice somebody at your side looking at you intently. You then realize that the person is your freakin boss along with your office mates.
    1. Oh … That is an “ouch” kind of screw. Thanks for sharing a “screwed” scenario. 🙂 Have a wonderful day.
  13. Considering that I have 40 years I had some experiences of getting screwed, in my life. I have been cheated a few months ago with buying a phone, it was an iPhone 7, and this kind of phone it cost here 800 dollars, and a guy sold it to me for 500 dollars.
    You can imagine how surprised I was after a few days to know that my phone was a replica and not an original Apple iPhone.
    The phone I have bought has the value as 200 dollars!
    1. I am sorry to hear that you had this bitter experience. When it comes to buying Apple products, I always prefer to purchase from a Apple Store or any big chain store. In case of cell phones, most of the times the carrier sells the phone with the connection, which makes it authentic. There are phones with replaceable carrier-cards but they are not much popular for long term usage.

      Again, I am sorry that someone cheated. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful rest of the week.

      1. That was a big mistake from my part, not buying from an original store, but I thought I am making a good deal and save some money. Now I know how things are and I will avoid to buy anything from people on the street and buy from the original producer.
        Thank you, Admin!
  14. Aye, this article is awesome and very relatable and I like the cartoons pictures
  15. All of these are so true. I know I’ve done something wrong if my partner enjoys a game on her smartphone (without a internet connection more than a conversation with me. Then I know i’m screwed. the weird thing is, I never get told what I did wrong so I will then have to go sit and guess all the things I’v done wrong in the last 24 hours so I can figure out what to say sorry for.
  16. Those are such cringe-worthy moments. I hope none of those ever happen to me. How would I deal with those situations?! Horrifying. Hahaha. I wanna get revenge like the girl in the interview board though. :))
  17. As an elementary school teacher, I can greatly appreciate the last comic about children “telling” on their parents for what they do. You learn much more than you would like to about people just from the comments that their children innocently make. Younger kids really don’t have a filter, no sense of what is appropriate or not to share. It’s rather easy to forget that… until the moment that a child says something that you wish they hadn’t, but by then, “you’re screwed!”
  18. This was funny,screw of life.As a mom have been screwed many times by my kids.I can totally relate.Can remember telling my little son that the fruit banana is eaten without the peels and of course he should always say thank you whenever he is offered anything.. A particular day a senior colleague came visiting and brought along bananas for him,he was offered the bananas,he collected without saying the thank-you.I noticed and called him back and I asked him what he is suppose to say to my senior colleague, he responded oh! I forgot Aunty please peel them for me.What! I couldn’t laugh.
    1. Haha 😂 this is a great story (and hilarious). Thank you for sharing the story. Wish you and your family a wonderful weekend.
  19. lol I love the illustrations. I can relate with this so much! You just want to be eaten by the couch or floor just to escape the embarrassment hahaha
  20. That first bit is so true. Even now, I still get quite uncomfortable hearing that “we have talk” thingy. I have been there a lot. The moment that phrase comes out of your girl’s mouth you know you are in for it now. It’s not always about breaking up but still, it means that she is upset about something you did or did not do. This moments are really quite tricky as there are pretty much no correct answers to there inquiries. You just have to take the beating and get it over with. Forget about defending yourself, that will only make things worse. Lol.
    1. Haha 😂 , definitely defending yourself will make the situation worse. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful day.
  21. Nice post! I really enjoyed reading it. To be honest, I have been related to to this post in many ways. I have been screwed way too much in my life 🙂

    Last month, I had been scammed by one of the online jobs. I felt screwed that time. Really screwed!

    Lastly, I loved that baby sitter thing, very much fun to read 🙂

    1. I am so glad to know that you liked the post. At the same time, I am sad to know that you had a bad experience regarding the online job. I wish scamming was not a part of this society. So many people have been robbed.

      Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Have a wonderful day.

      1. Thank you for commenting! It means a lot for me. I am sure to follow this blog regularly, as it is full of informative articles.
  22. The thing I can relate the most is “the talk” one. Oh boy, it brings out both sweet and sour memories. My best friend helped me out the most in those times, I can always rely on him haha
    Did you draw the pictures yourself? They look pretty good (Far better than most of mine xD)
    1. There are tough and nice situations of life that become easier over time.

      I used CrazyTalk animator to draw the pictures. There are characters that can be used to create a scene.

      Thank you for visiting and commenting.

  23. My experince being screwed in a situation was way back in college. When I have a reporting to do in front of class, I am using an acer laptop to navigate my presentation, then before I even started my presentation, my laptop goes to automatic update. Aw! I’m screwed big time.
    1. Haha … that update thingy. Now a days I disable auto updates after being screwed a few times. Thank you for your comments. Best regards.
  24. I like this post! I had fun reading it. The screwed thing is really true and I can relate to that when I was still in high school. Can’t even remember the feeling.
  25. When you ear “When need to talk” you already know whats going on therefore, hahah. Been there sometimes, and funny thing is, everytime it’s the same feeling. “Oh, boy, here we go!”. Good post as aways, cheers!
  26. I’ m guilty of ‘you screwed’ thing. When my boyfriend told me ‘we need to talk’ my stomach starts cramping. Its really uncomfortable feeling. Because i know ‘we need to talk’ statement begin fight.
    1. I am sorry that the post reminds of not so good times. I was just joking with the harsh scenarios of life to make it easy. I definitely agree that “we need to talk” thing is stomach-cramping.

      Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful day.

  27. Haha, I love these especially the drawings. Do you design the graphics yourself for the blog? Anyway, back on topic. I think the last person is definitely something that has happened to a lot of parents especially with young children. You tell them something and they will just blurt something that embarrasses you in front of a lot of people. I hope that the second “your screwed” scenario never happens. Nothing worse than having an ex-girlfriend have some sort of control or control of a decision over you.
  28. Unless the face reaction is fun, then nothing to worry about. But yeah, usually with this phrase, “Can we talk” is accompanied by a haunting face. Or more of the same lines like, “We need to talk” and “I need to tell you something” are kinda inconvenient. But I’m more terrified when I saw my phone screen with notification, “10 missed call from Mom!”
  29. LOL! Those are moments you don’t want to be around. Being screws is typical for an ordinary day and you just can’t control some of them. So the best way to handle these screwed moments is to face them straight up right there and then. Anyway these are all passing, meaning it scares the hell of you while your in that situation but one’s its done its done.
  30. Hahahaha! I can relate to this ” Honey Can we talk? I remember when my ex-boyfriend asked me to have a little talk and he said I’m nice, I’m pretty and smart but the problem is not me. Honestly, I get traumatized from this word like now, if my husband would ask me, Babe can we talk? I feel antsy and worried I feel like something is wrong. Ha ha ha!
    1. Definitely, those words are scary. I wish no one had to hear those words ever. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful day.
  31. I was really laughing as I read the whole scenarios and I could relate the job interview for I went for a part-time job offer at an office last year and what I discovered was that the boss that was supposed to employ me was dating my ex-girlfriend then. I had to zero my hope of getting the job and finally, that was how it happened.

    Honestly, there are series of cases of such things happening and most of those cases, it always ends up as the person getting the negative response or feeling bad at the end.

  32. The groom stands at the alter waiting for the bride to walk down the aisle. Amidst the dozens of people sitted, one face got the most of his attention. She looked very familiar but he wasn’t sure she was the one. Upon the arrival of the bride, the priest commenced and just when he got to the part:”if there’s anyone here who believes this two shouldn’t be married, speak now or forever remain silent”. The familiar face stood up abruptly. The groom was certainly sure she was the one and knew all hell was about to break loose so he decided to act first. Without hesitating he quickly went down on his knees right infront of everyone confessing to his bride that he actually had been cheating on her with the familiar face and that she was pregnant for him. The entire church fell into silence. The familiar face still standing turned to the person sitted next to her saying she was pressed. It turned out that she was just a look alike and only needed to get to the toilet.

    That groom is completely screwed.

  33. Thankfully, I have not been on any of these situations. However, I have been screwed many times. Whenever my wife says “Honey, we need to talk” I don’t have to worry. When my wife wants to talk she wants to talk about serious family matters. Problem is when the wife does not talk. When I ask what’s up and she answers nothing, then I am screwed up.
  34. That was funny, well it always happened this kind of situations and the only thing we can do is to have a backup plan. In this way, we can resolve things easier and faster without to lose our plans for the day!
    1. I frequently find myself in these kind of situations and I wish I had backup plans! I mean, well these happen out of nowhere and I’d find myself dumbfounded that I have once again did it. It just happens when I least expect it.
  35. I can totally relate to that feeling of wanting to disappear or for the Earth below me to break and swallow me up, or just bout anything to save me from the extreme embarrassment I’m feeling. My dad frequently have this moments and I guess I kind of have got it from him. I remember that one time when I was in the bus terminal early in the morning and I just woke up from about 6 hours straight of land travel wanting to pee. I saw this person with long hair and automatically thought it was a girl so I followed that person to the loo, no longer checking the sign. I was shocked to see that it was full of males peeing, and I saw 6 guys staring at me with horrified looks. Some females saw me enter it too and I can only mutter the words, Darn, I’m so screwed.
  36. It s hard to accept bad news coming from our loved ones like the first scenario on this topic. Couples share their efforts to balance the relationship that will lasts forever but sometimes we cannot blame people if they found a new partner. Imagine if you were able to provide all the needs of your partner and suddenly that person fell in love with another, it may trigger to drastic depression. Nowadays our generation is totally different and youth are more on the influences of trending love stories. They intended to mimic the actual behavior of various artists that leads them to a bad relationship, already screwed up.
  37. This are real life experiences but just illustrated great with those comics cartoons. “Honey, we need to talk…” the way he looks and the unusual voice you heard, you will knew it already. Just think of the positive side, problems are spicies of life that leads you to a better YOU.

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