Caution: Please note that this post is a “you’re screwed” satire. Therefore, the phrase “you’re screwed” will repeat many times.
“We need to talk” implies “you’re screwed”
The moment you hear your girlfriend saying, “Honey, we need to talk”, you know that you’re screwed. If you are a super nice guy, the next few sentences are going to be — “You have a beautiful mind. I have enjoyed dating you. But…” You know the rest. Sorry dude … Please do not take it personally. It is a standard procedure but nevertheless, you’re badly screwed.
Not a good idea to break up over text
You have been called for an interview with a company of your dream job. You are excited. After entering the interview room you discover that your ex-girlfriend with whom you broke up over a text message five years ago is in the interview board. You’re screwed tightly.
Babysitter disaster
You and your spouse haven’t eaten dinner together (peacefully) for a long time. How will you? You have a baby. You managed a table reservation in a great restaurant for a Friday evening. It is great that you managed a babysitter as well and your kid is fond of her. Well … All’s well that ends well.
In the Friday evening, you find that the boyfriend of your babysitter is planning to join her in babysitting. The problem is, you are not that fond of the boyfriend of your babysitter. You are screwed.
Etiquette disaster
You teach your child the etiquettes and manners everyone should maintain in a delicate society. However, you yourself cannot maintain all of those etiquettes at home, one of which includes farting in front of the family.
You have invited your son’s friend and the friend’s mom. The first thing your child tells when they arrive is that you farted once in the living room instead of in a bathroom. Sorry to say this — You’re screwed.
Hope you enjoyed. Let us know if you have any funny idea or know of a story of how one can be screwed. 🙂
Settle in El Paso team
Note: We drew all the pictures of this post using CrazyTalk Animator 3 Standard (Mac). The software has a Standard PC (Windows) version, as well as PRO Mac and PRO Windows versions.
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I like this post! I had fun reading it. The screwed thing is really true and I can relate to that when I was still in high school. Can’t even remember the feeling.
Thank you for reading the post and letting us know that you liked it. Have a great weekend.
My experince being screwed in a situation was way back in college. When I have a reporting to do in front of class, I am using an acer laptop to navigate my presentation, then before I even started my presentation, my laptop goes to automatic update. Aw! I’m screwed big time.
Haha … that update thingy. Now a days I disable auto updates after being screwed a few times. Thank you for your comments. Best regards.
The thing I can relate the most is “the talk” one. Oh boy, it brings out both sweet and sour memories. My best friend helped me out the most in those times, I can always rely on him haha
Did you draw the pictures yourself? They look pretty good (Far better than most of mine xD)
There are tough and nice situations of life that become easier over time.
I used CrazyTalk animator to draw the pictures. There are characters that can be used to create a scene.
Thank you for visiting and commenting.
Nice post! I really enjoyed reading it. To be honest, I have been related to to this post in many ways. I have been screwed way too much in my life 🙂
Last month, I had been scammed by one of the online jobs. I felt screwed that time. Really screwed!
Lastly, I loved that baby sitter thing, very much fun to read 🙂
I am so glad to know that you liked the post. At the same time, I am sad to know that you had a bad experience regarding the online job. I wish scamming was not a part of this society. So many people have been robbed.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you for commenting! It means a lot for me. I am sure to follow this blog regularly, as it is full of informative articles.
Thank you so much!
That first bit is so true. Even now, I still get quite uncomfortable hearing that “we have talk” thingy. I have been there a lot. The moment that phrase comes out of your girl’s mouth you know you are in for it now. It’s not always about breaking up but still, it means that she is upset about something you did or did not do. This moments are really quite tricky as there are pretty much no correct answers to there inquiries. You just have to take the beating and get it over with. Forget about defending yourself, that will only make things worse. Lol.
Haha ? , definitely defending yourself will make the situation worse. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful day.
lol I love the illustrations. I can relate with this so much! You just want to be eaten by the couch or floor just to escape the embarrassment hahaha
I am glad to know that you liked the pictures. Thank you for visiting and commenting.
This was funny,screw of life.As a mom have been screwed many times by my kids.I can totally relate.Can remember telling my little son that the fruit banana is eaten without the peels and of course he should always say thank you whenever he is offered anything.. A particular day a senior colleague came visiting and brought along bananas for him,he was offered the bananas,he collected without saying the thank-you.I noticed and called him back and I asked him what he is suppose to say to my senior colleague, he responded oh! I forgot Aunty please peel them for me.What! I couldn’t laugh.
Haha ? this is a great story (and hilarious). Thank you for sharing the story. Wish you and your family a wonderful weekend.
As an elementary school teacher, I can greatly appreciate the last comic about children “telling” on their parents for what they do. You learn much more than you would like to about people just from the comments that their children innocently make. Younger kids really don’t have a filter, no sense of what is appropriate or not to share. It’s rather easy to forget that… until the moment that a child says something that you wish they hadn’t, but by then, “you’re screwed!”
So true. Kids speak an unfiltered language. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful week.
Those are such cringe-worthy moments. I hope none of those ever happen to me. How would I deal with those situations?! Horrifying. Hahaha. I wanna get revenge like the girl in the interview board though. :))
Revenge like that lady in the interview board is completely sensible. ?
All of these are so true. I know I’ve done something wrong if my partner enjoys a game on her smartphone (without a internet connection more than a conversation with me. Then I know i’m screwed. the weird thing is, I never get told what I did wrong so I will then have to go sit and guess all the things I’v done wrong in the last 24 hours so I can figure out what to say sorry for.
Haha ? yes that is another screw-scene.
Aye, this article is awesome and very relatable and I like the cartoons pictures
I am glad to know that you liked this post. Have a wonderful day.
Considering that I have 40 years I had some experiences of getting screwed, in my life. I have been cheated a few months ago with buying a phone, it was an iPhone 7, and this kind of phone it cost here 800 dollars, and a guy sold it to me for 500 dollars.
You can imagine how surprised I was after a few days to know that my phone was a replica and not an original Apple iPhone.
The phone I have bought has the value as 200 dollars!
I am sorry to hear that you had this bitter experience. When it comes to buying Apple products, I always prefer to purchase from a Apple Store or any big chain store. In case of cell phones, most of the times the carrier sells the phone with the connection, which makes it authentic. There are phones with replaceable carrier-cards but they are not much popular for long term usage.
Again, I am sorry that someone cheated. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful rest of the week.
That was a big mistake from my part, not buying from an original store, but I thought I am making a good deal and save some money. Now I know how things are and I will avoid to buy anything from people on the street and buy from the original producer.
Thank you, Admin!
You know you’re screwed when you call your office to tell the secretary in your most sickly voice that you’re ill (even if you’re not) and tell them that you can’t go to work, let alone get up from your bed. In truth, you’re just not in the mood to work for today. They accept your alibi and you think that you’re the smartest person on earth for fooling them. During the same day, while enjoying your lunch at a local restaurant, you notice somebody at your side looking at you intently. You then realize that the person is your freakin boss along with your office mates.
Oh … That is an “ouch” kind of screw. Thanks for sharing a “screwed” scenario. 🙂 Have a wonderful day.
I can relate to so many of these! I guess I have been screwed way too many times! I wasn’t dumped over a text message but I was once dumped over email. The guy actually typed a long rambling email about all the things wrong with our relationship. And of course since it was there in print, I read the thing about a hundred times! Yep I was screwed with that one!
Nope, you were not screwed; you were relieved (I bet). That guy was definitely something (please feel free to replace “something” with whatever you want). I appreciate your visit and comment. Have a wonderful week.
That one of the ex-girlfriend… I mean, can you ever be any more screwed than that? LOL Breaking up over a tex message or even over a call is never a good idea. Karma always catches you!
Haha … that is a hammered screw. Thank you for visiting and commenting.
Haha, so many screws we could start a business of selling them 😀 anyway, great post.. thank you so much for making me laugh. Just got home from a hard day of work and this is absolutely perfect. My husband thinks I lost my ”screws” because I am giggling so much. I can relate to the first situation pretty well… I think that we all had some experience with it before.
One personal experience where I knew that I am 100% screwed is this; at around 17 years old I dated this boy, I even met his family but he was more into me than I was into him. I broke up with him pretty fast and he kept texting and calling me for months. I blocked his number and never replied. Then a year forward, I began University and guess who was a teacher for one of my subjects? HIS FATHER! I just knew that I was screwed, haha.
Haha … yes, life is full of so many screws that we could start a business. “lost my screw” is another form of screw that I did not remember when I wrote this post. Thank you for reminding.
I do not want to laugh at your situation when you started your university studies. It is not polite to laugh at someone’s misery. It is hilarious though. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your experience. Have a wonderful evening.
I LOVE these pictures! Did someone draw them or create them with a program? Too cute! You bring up so many hilarious points that many of us can relate to.
I am glad to know that you loved the pictures and the humor. I drew these pictures mostly using CrazyTalk Animator. I created a character of a little boy using powerpoint, which is reusable. Rest of the characters were already in CrazyTalk Animator.
Sometimes I draw pictures on paper and then digitize them as I did in the “Text and Drive” post — https://settleinelpaso.com/how-to-text-and-drive/ .
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful Sunday.
When you sneak out of work a little early and suddenly pull up next to your boss in her car at a traffic light, you’re screwed. Obviously recently happened to me, but we both pretended not to see each other. 🙂
Juliann recently posted…Dexter Avenue
Haha … Yes, that is a great scene of being screwed. 🙂 Thank you for sharing. Have a wonderful weekend.
Hahaha 🙂 ‘Can we talk’ is a scary sentence to hear for both male and female. I think its actually worse for the female to hear such words, because men generally don’t like to have serious talks. The first thing that usually comes to your mind when a male partner tells you he needs to talk to you is, he is having an affair, or he has blown the family savings on a bad investment or he wants a divorce. Maybe those scary words should be changed.
Haha … Agreed these are scary words. Thank you so much for visiting and commenting.
Love these comics. I like the job interview with the ex-girl friend. Most likely he will be screwed.
Glad to know that you liked it. The one with the interview is our favorite too. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful evening.
I haven’t had many dating experiences myself but I am kind of worried for this kind of thing occurring when I do get brave enough to go out into the dating world. However, I think if someone acts like themself then if the other partner doesn’t love that person for who they are then the relationship wouldn’t work out anyway and it’s better if they just separate their ways.
I absolutely agree with you. A match is essential. Thank you for visiting and commenting.
Is there any scarier sentence in the whole world than “We need to talk?” I’ve only said it to my husband once- I texted him when I was at work and absolutely furious with him. He survived, needless to say, but I wanted to scare him good, haha! Whenever anyone says it to me, my mind starts racing to everything I’ve ever done that someone could possibly be mad at me for, even if it was years ago! ?
“We need to talk” is scary, no doubt. It is sometimes as scary as “I have some news”, which implies “I have a bad news. Be strong.”
Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful day.
Those are a one of the few sentences that I would hate being told by anyone. My younger siblings tend to get really afraid when I tell them that even if I don’t intend of saying anything negative to them, and I tend to lose my wits when my mom or dad utter those words because it makes me think that they have caught me doing something I shouldn’t be doing.
Those were great screws. I am sure it is enough for me to say that husbands are fully capable of providing those screws embarrassing the wife in front of guests. It was Christmas time. What I had prepared was a disaster. And if that is not a screw what is when he asks me to bring it out for guests to taste!!!
Or, it could be out of love. Hubby might like your cooking regardless of how it is. He is probably never embarrassed because that Christmas food is always heavenly to his taste buds. 🙂 Have a wonderful day.
Eeeek and it’s like you can’t stop the moment – like it’s happening in slow motion! “Can we talk?” isn’t usually followed by “I’d like to share my lottery winnings with you” 😉 Great illustrations to go with your well-planned post!
Haha ? Happy to know that you liked the illustrations. Thanks for visiting and commenting.
I can relate to this post. And each and every word of this post is correct to the letter. I had several practical experiences of getting screwed. The one that still haunt my memory most is way back in college. I was in this class Ä°M group that membership is restricted to the students of the class. So after a tiring class, I opened the IM app vent my anger about the lecturer, I even called him name. To my shock the lecturer got to see all my post. The following day that he called me to see him on his office, I immediately knew something is not right. My mind as telling I am screwed already even before entering his office.
Haha … I am laughing but I realize your agony of that time. I hope the end-story was good. Thank you for sharing such a story from your college days. Have a wonderful day.