Caution: Please note that this post is a “you’re screwed” satire. Therefore, the phrase “you’re screwed” will repeat many times.
“We need to talk” implies “you’re screwed”
The moment you hear your girlfriend saying, “Honey, we need to talk”, you know that you’re screwed. If you are a super nice guy, the next few sentences are going to be — “You have a beautiful mind. I have enjoyed dating you. But…” You know the rest. Sorry dude … Please do not take it personally. It is a standard procedure but nevertheless, you’re badly screwed.
Not a good idea to break up over text
You have been called for an interview with a company of your dream job. You are excited. After entering the interview room you discover that your ex-girlfriend with whom you broke up over a text message five years ago is in the interview board. You’re screwed tightly.
Babysitter disaster
You and your spouse haven’t eaten dinner together (peacefully) for a long time. How will you? You have a baby. You managed a table reservation in a great restaurant for a Friday evening. It is great that you managed a babysitter as well and your kid is fond of her. Well … All’s well that ends well.
In the Friday evening, you find that the boyfriend of your babysitter is planning to join her in babysitting. The problem is, you are not that fond of the boyfriend of your babysitter. You are screwed.
Etiquette disaster
You teach your child the etiquettes and manners everyone should maintain in a delicate society. However, you yourself cannot maintain all of those etiquettes at home, one of which includes farting in front of the family.
You have invited your son’s friend and the friend’s mom. The first thing your child tells when they arrive is that you farted once in the living room instead of in a bathroom. Sorry to say this — You’re screwed.
Hope you enjoyed. Let us know if you have any funny idea or know of a story of how one can be screwed. 🙂
Settle in El Paso team
Note: We drew all the pictures of this post using CrazyTalk Animator 3 Standard (Mac). The software has a Standard PC (Windows) version, as well as PRO Mac and PRO Windows versions.
Subscribe to receive our newsletters and notifications on new posts. Your email address is safe with us. It will not be distributed to any third-party.
These are hilarious! I can’t imagine the stress of having an ex being on a job interview panel, let alone one that you unceremoniously dumped!
We always need to think before doing things as a rule since were small. anyway this is funny though haha
Glad to know that you liked the post. Thank you.
This are real life experiences but just illustrated great with those comics cartoons. “Honey, we need to talk…” the way he looks and the unusual voice you heard, you will knew it already. Just think of the positive side, problems are spicies of life that leads you to a better YOU.
It s hard to accept bad news coming from our loved ones like the first scenario on this topic. Couples share their efforts to balance the relationship that will lasts forever but sometimes we cannot blame people if they found a new partner. Imagine if you were able to provide all the needs of your partner and suddenly that person fell in love with another, it may trigger to drastic depression. Nowadays our generation is totally different and youth are more on the influences of trending love stories. They intended to mimic the actual behavior of various artists that leads them to a bad relationship, already screwed up.
I can totally relate to that feeling of wanting to disappear or for the Earth below me to break and swallow me up, or just bout anything to save me from the extreme embarrassment I’m feeling. My dad frequently have this moments and I guess I kind of have got it from him. I remember that one time when I was in the bus terminal early in the morning and I just woke up from about 6 hours straight of land travel wanting to pee. I saw this person with long hair and automatically thought it was a girl so I followed that person to the loo, no longer checking the sign. I was shocked to see that it was full of males peeing, and I saw 6 guys staring at me with horrified looks. Some females saw me enter it too and I can only mutter the words, Darn, I’m so screwed.
That was funny, well it always happened this kind of situations and the only thing we can do is to have a backup plan. In this way, we can resolve things easier and faster without to lose our plans for the day!
I frequently find myself in these kind of situations and I wish I had backup plans! I mean, well these happen out of nowhere and I’d find myself dumbfounded that I have once again did it. It just happens when I least expect it.
Thankfully, I have not been on any of these situations. However, I have been screwed many times. Whenever my wife says “Honey, we need to talk” I don’t have to worry. When my wife wants to talk she wants to talk about serious family matters. Problem is when the wife does not talk. When I ask what’s up and she answers nothing, then I am screwed up.
Haha … that sounds like like well screwed up if spouse doesn’t answer. Thank you for visiting and commenting.
The groom stands at the alter waiting for the bride to walk down the aisle. Amidst the dozens of people sitted, one face got the most of his attention. She looked very familiar but he wasn’t sure she was the one. Upon the arrival of the bride, the priest commenced and just when he got to the part:”if there’s anyone here who believes this two shouldn’t be married, speak now or forever remain silent”. The familiar face stood up abruptly. The groom was certainly sure she was the one and knew all hell was about to break loose so he decided to act first. Without hesitating he quickly went down on his knees right infront of everyone confessing to his bride that he actually had been cheating on her with the familiar face and that she was pregnant for him. The entire church fell into silence. The familiar face still standing turned to the person sitted next to her saying she was pressed. It turned out that she was just a look alike and only needed to get to the toilet.
That groom is completely screwed.
I was really laughing as I read the whole scenarios and I could relate the job interview for I went for a part-time job offer at an office last year and what I discovered was that the boss that was supposed to employ me was dating my ex-girlfriend then. I had to zero my hope of getting the job and finally, that was how it happened.
Honestly, there are series of cases of such things happening and most of those cases, it always ends up as the person getting the negative response or feeling bad at the end.
Hahahaha! I can relate to this ” Honey Can we talk? I remember when my ex-boyfriend asked me to have a little talk and he said I’m nice, I’m pretty and smart but the problem is not me. Honestly, I get traumatized from this word like now, if my husband would ask me, Babe can we talk? I feel antsy and worried I feel like something is wrong. Ha ha ha!
Definitely, those words are scary. I wish no one had to hear those words ever. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful day.
LOL! Those are moments you don’t want to be around. Being screws is typical for an ordinary day and you just can’t control some of them. So the best way to handle these screwed moments is to face them straight up right there and then. Anyway these are all passing, meaning it scares the hell of you while your in that situation but one’s its done its done.
Haha, definitely. Many screwed moments are like lessons learnt.
Thank you for visiting and commenting.
Unless the face reaction is fun, then nothing to worry about. But yeah, usually with this phrase, “Can we talk” is accompanied by a haunting face. Or more of the same lines like, “We need to talk” and “I need to tell you something” are kinda inconvenient. But I’m more terrified when I saw my phone screen with notification, “10 missed call from Mom!”
Oh, yes. That many missed calls are scary. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful weekend.
Haha, I love these especially the drawings. Do you design the graphics yourself for the blog? Anyway, back on topic. I think the last person is definitely something that has happened to a lot of parents especially with young children. You tell them something and they will just blurt something that embarrasses you in front of a lot of people. I hope that the second “your screwed” scenario never happens. Nothing worse than having an ex-girlfriend have some sort of control or control of a decision over you.
I’ m guilty of ‘you screwed’ thing. When my boyfriend told me ‘we need to talk’ my stomach starts cramping. Its really uncomfortable feeling. Because i know ‘we need to talk’ statement begin fight.
I am sorry that the post reminds of not so good times. I was just joking with the harsh scenarios of life to make it easy. I definitely agree that “we need to talk” thing is stomach-cramping.
Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful day.
When you ear “When need to talk” you already know whats going on therefore, hahah. Been there sometimes, and funny thing is, everytime it’s the same feeling. “Oh, boy, here we go!”. Good post as aways, cheers!
I am glad to know that you liked the humor. Have a wonderful weekend.