How to text and drive

A humor post outlining how one can text and drive at the same time. The post has sarcastic statements to discourage text & drive.
We are extremely sorry to say that we cannot text and drive anymore. It really surprises us why state governments do not realize the necessity of being tech-savvy in everyday life. Texting and driving (at the same time) is one of the most tech-savvy activities that has driven millennials as well as modern adults of this century. Texas was, so far, known to be one of the states that recognized the necessity of texting and driving. Damn it … Texting and driving will be considered illegal from September 1st, 2017 even in Texas. Here goes our freedom of texting and driving, multitasking, and being so cool.

This post describes a few ways of how we, the cool tech-savvy community, may survive this disaster of texting & driving ban. All the following methods can be applied hands-free. Therefore, their use should be legal. However, we strongly suggest that users consult a lawyer before implementing these methods. The authors of this post do not guarantee any safety or legal consequences of the methods.

All the following methods have one feature in common — you will have limited capability of typing. You will only be reading your incoming text messages safely. It is strongly recommended that you pull over if you need to type a message. However, you may type a few words without pulling over if you feel that no law enforcement officer is around, but again, the risk is all yours.

Driver-head mounts for smart phones

Driver-head mount for smart phones. This mount is only for smart phones, not for tablets.

Driver-head mount is a simple sophisticated device designed to attach a smartphone with the head of the driver. The phone is tightly mounted on a synthetic rubber stand, which is strongly attached to a head-band as illustrated in the figure. Although it is possible to mount tablets with this stand, we strongly recommended that only smartphones be used while driving. Tablets may increase the risk by obstructing the street-view even though we know that many people can drive fine without having a direct view of the road. It is alright to mount tablets, including iPad and Galaxy Tabs, while jogging or walking.

Cons: Users may experience headache after using the mount on their head for an extended period of time. We are sure that scientists will discover the optimal number of hours one may keep the device attached to the head without any health issues, when the device will be commercially produced.

Another drawback of this mount is that it may be difficult to type text messages while driving. The headband may become loose when typing a text message, especially when driving at a high speed.

Smart steering wheel—phone mounting device

Steering-wheel phone mount is a technology that places the phone on the steering wheel, which is the closest to where people keep their phones for traditional texting & driving. Smart steering wheel mounting keeps the street-view unobstructed. It will let the user text and drive with an ease, without any necessity of taking the arms off the wheel.

Smart steering wheel-phone mount. Allows to keep the phone closer to fingertips.

Cons: Compared to the other approaches, the number of risk-factors of texting and driving seem to be lesser with the smart steering wheel—phone mounting device. Inefficient texters may complain about the steering wheel mounts but such texters complain about any kind of texting and driving. Therefore, disregarding their complains will be the best policy to support the Renaissance of texting and driving.

Rearview mount for smart phones

Rearview mount is a sophisticated device that may carry both cell phones and tablets. The owner will mount the gadget with the sturdy mount, which will be attached to the rearview mirror. The following sketch demonstrates this elegant solution to the texting and driving ban problem.

Rearview mount. An elegant solution for clear text message view and possible texting (when allowed). Suitable for both smart phones and tablets.

Cons: Inefficient texters may report difficulty in typing text messages while driving at a high speed. We are pretty sure, even such inefficient texters will admit that the mount is great in using the smartphone as a GPS.

Windshield screen messenger on custom Tesla

Tesla is making full self-driving cars. If someone has a Tesla self-driving car, he/she may text and drive when the car is on self-driving mode. We are not sure if law would prohibit the driver from texting when the car is driving by itself because technically the human-driver is not the driver but the car is the driver when the car is on autopilot.

Anyway, we cannot afford a Tesla. Therefore, we are not much worried about it at this point. Yet, we have something more innovative than the previous ideas for Tesla-like smart cars. The idea is reflected in the following figure.

A windshield messenger-enabled custom smart car. The user can view the text messages on the windshield. It is not possible to type text messages but with smart voice active systems like Siri, it is possible to type without physically typing anything.

One may customize the windshield of a smart car before purchasing it. The windshield will be able to display all messages and notifications from the cellphone. This is something like the sci-fi movies where there are transparent glasses on which techy texts appear and blink. A self-driving capacity with this windshield screen messenger will be a perfect millennial combination. Typing on the windshield may sound a little inconvenient at first but it is possible to write text messages without typing by using a smart phone’s voice recognition software. 🙂

Cons: This technology will be expensive. We are not sure if Tesla will be willing to make such windshields either. Elon Musk is great. He might like the idea. If you are lucky, he might even install such windshields on the spaceship for manned Mars mission.

Motorcycle mounting device for texting and driving

We do not know if motorcyclists text when they drive. It sounds too risky. Anyway, our innovative ideas are not limited to regular four-wheel vehicles. The ideas cover motorcycles as well. Please take a look at the following picture that demonstrates how a motorcyclist may mount a cellphone on a two-wheeler.

Phone-mounting device for motorcycles. A flexible solution to help motorcyclists text while driving.

The cell phone will be mounted on the front side of the motorcycle. The stands should be flexible. The motorcyclist will be able to tilt the phone to the left or to the right to keep street-views unobstructed.

Cons: This mounting device is safe mostly for enjoying incoming text messages. While it is possible to send text messages with slightly increased risk, we recommend that the user avoids typing text messages. By the way, sending a text message is risky with our without a mounting device when driving a motorcycle. This implies that not being able to type a text message is not a limitation of this proposed mounting technology. Rather, it is the limitation of motorcycles.

Concluding remarks

Texting while driving is under no circumstances an acceptable activity. It risks the lives of others on the street who are relying on your driving skill, efficiency, and kindness.

Please notice that we have published this post under Awareness and Comedy and sarcasm categories. We observe people texting and driving almost everyday. Do you notice that many drivers are doing that? Please feel free to share any relevant experience in the comment section.

A Family Blog: Settle in El Paso

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134 thoughts on “How to text and drive

  1. I love the Windshield screen messenger and don’t forget the dictation by the voice I recommend an app for better speech recognition.

  2. You have a great idea 😀 I really expecting the Tesla self driving car and Driver-head mounts for smart phones invented by 2019 or 2020. You have a wide variety of helpful ideas. 😀

  3. These are cool yet somewhat risky ways of texting/reading while driving.

    I like the mounting device on smart steering wheel. It seems like the least risky out of all of them. I haven’t texted while driving that much. I prefer to exercise caution because you never know when someone might appear out of nowhere. I mostly use the call feature more than typing words on the phone.

    It’s easier to talk and you don’t have to worry about driving into someone.

    1. 🙂 This is a satire post and our sarcastic way of criticizing texting and driving. I absolutely agree with you that all these methods are risky.

      Thank you for visiting and commenting.

  4. So funny animations! But anyway I’m glad that txting while driving is against the law. Likewise if you’re having a call handy while driving. It’s so dangerous and all the people inside that car is at risk. Drivers should be physically fit, mentally healthy. Life of passengers are in their hands.Drivers should have seminars for stress relief and to be reminded of safety policy first.

    Thank you for this reliable information

  5. Awesome suggestion so funny nice one unique idea hahaha…Few months ago here in country also prohibited texting while driving and huge penalty implemented. It is serious matter because so many accidents happened because of that. Every driver should focus on the road and if can’t help using phone car should stop in safe place then that’s the time person can text or call. Better safe than sorry.

    1. I agree completely. There is no good reason for text-driving and jeopardizing lives.

      Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful day.

  6. That was really funny and you have really cool animations here! Here in my city, we also just recently had a law banning things that could be considered bothersome to drivers’ vision while driving. The fine is too high that people don’t do this anymore at all. I really love the humor you have in this article.

  7. That is nice, but I think the law must be harsh with the drivers who are using their cell phone when they drive their car. Drivers are losing attention and they can make accidents or even kill someone. It is time for driving and time for using the cell phone, both should be used separately!

  8. You have presented great ideas, I especially liked the “motercycle mounting device.” However, I am not looking forward to using any of these texting methods when driving or riding. I am not in a habit of texting, even when I am in a room. Instead, I like to make phone calls. Maybe I am old fashoned.

  9. Very funny. For it a minute there you got me going with the topic…there’s no way you could have come up with a safe description of how we can read and text while driving. You dare not say it, I thought to myself. I was getting ready to attack you with my comment until “Damn it … Texting and driving will be considered illegal from September 1st, 2017”.

    Now am just laughing at myself.

  10. Ha ha ha! At first, I was just like “Is this serious?” ha ha ha! you make my day. Here in my country texting or phoning is already banned here. This policy was only approved last two months. Once you get caught you will pay a huge amount of penalty. So I think I need the “Windshield screen messenger on custom Tesla” hahaha!

    1. Glad to hear that you enjoyed the post. The Windshield screen one is tempting, no doubt. Thank you for visiting and commenting.

  11. Wow! so, finally, I can find tools that can help me to chat with friends while on the wheel. I must say that I appreciate you for opening my eyes with the list of gadgets that someone like me that is always on the phone anywhere I go can use while I’m driving on the road. I would, however, advise most of us to not overdo it and not to try certain things while on a fast lane to avoid accidents.

    1. Does not matter, whether a fast lane or a slow one, “texting and driving” is not acceptable.

      Thank you for stopping by.

  12. Witty indeed!. When I saw the title I was like “uh oh” because I’m not a fan of texting and calling while driving and I hate when I see someone like that, it can cause serious accidents. However, when I read it, I had a laugh. I like sarcasm by the way. The photos are so comical.
    Imagine after 10 or 20 years, How technology will influence human evolution? Id say we should be careful and aware of everything we do to avoid any casualties. Let’s be smart in driving.

    1. Exactly. Who know whether people will even drive after 20 years later given that self-driving cars are on the street now. I agree with you — there is no excuse for texting and driving.

      1. I was really surprised with the article at first too because I abhor people who drive and text at the same time, but as I kept on reading, I saw that once again the writer never fails to put humor on this one. The photos are indeed comical and smart, if I may say so.

  13. Awesome post! Enjoyed the humor, can’t help giggling while I read the article. Driving and texting is absolutely dangerous that is why it is banned in our country. So to avoid accidents and you can stay focused while driving just simply avoid texting. Anyway there are a few ways to check your message especially if its important and a need to text back is necessary while driving. You can simply pull over and answer important messages or else make sure you have read all messages before traveling and read them all after arriving anyway these messages can wait unless of course there is an emergency. To sum it all up there is nothing better than to AVOID texting while driving is not worth it. Lucky if it’s some minor accident only what if it takes your precious LIFE? It will be the end of your story!!!

    1. I agree to all the points. A life is definitely more precious than a text message. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Have a wonderful day.

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